i have a secret

I am a HORRIBLE friend.

Ok, that's not true - I'm just horribly inconsistent. If I know something is going on with a friend, or if somebody needs something, I am there and attentive and protective and all that junk.

But when I fall out of touch, I plummet.

I have a friend who has been my friend since we were 12. We've been closer for longer than we've been closer to anyone else - she introduces me to people as her best friend (mostly because we couldn’t pass as sisters at all, but that’s more what our relationship is like. We’re very different, but could call on each other for anything).

And I just found out that she is moving to new york in january. And she didn't know I was moving there at all.

To be fair, I sat on the info for so long that when I finally announced it, I didn't make a big deal out of it. However, this is pathetic. Once a few weeks go by, the first phone call seems so overwhelming, daunting.

I feel like a jerk - but I know it's a mutual fuck up. I just want to be more consistent! Wouldn’t it be nice to be that friend who always does stuff right, and regularly checks up on their friends and their needs? Yeah, that would be nice.

Ok, off to new york. Wow, next year is going to be even more fun... but how did I collect all these actor friends?